vs Ottawa

William Nylander scored forty seconds into the game, which usually means the script is written for a heart-wrenching collapse, but somehow the boys managed to out-chaos the Senators in a 7-5 track meet. Matthew Knies looked like a power forward possessed with a two-goal performance, while Auston Matthews and Nicholas Robertson chipped in during a second-period surge that actually had people believing for a fleeting moment that a three-goal lead was safe. Naturally, because nothing can ever be easy for this franchise, a 5-2 cushion evaporated as Tim Stützle and Jordan Spence helped Ottawa pull within one, proving once again that the Leafs view a lead as a polite suggestion rather than a mandate.

John Tavares finally put everyone out of their misery with a late goal to secure the win, sparing the fan base from another round of radio hosts debating the team’s defensive structural integrity. It was the kind of high-scoring mess that makes for great highlights and even better cardiovascular stress tests. While scoring seven goals is a lovely distraction, giving up five to a division rival at home is a gentle reminder that the annual spring disappointment is likely still right on schedule. Enjoy the two points, but please, keep the parade floats in storage and the blood pressure medication within reach.