vs Utah

Naturally, we allowed Michael Carcone to score in the final minute of the first period, just to ensure every fan in the building remembered exactly which team they sold their internal organs to see. It wouldn't be a true experience if the blue and white didn't start from behind against a team that recently moved out of a college-sized arena. Thankfully, the expensive guys decided to briefly justify their tax brackets in the second. William Nylander and Auston Matthews turned things around, though Mikhail Sergachev made sure to tie it back up so nobody got too comfortable. It’s the hope that kills you, and this team remains a master of weaponizing it.

The final frame featured a rare display of competence that almost felt like a glitch in the simulation. John Tavares provided the lead, and shockingly, Matias Maccelli and Matthew Knies added enough insurance to keep the inevitable panic attacks at a dull roar. Even with Dylan Guenther scoring late for Utah to keep the collective blood pressure in the red zone, the boys walked away with a 5-3 victory. Being outshot 24-19 by a franchise still trying to figure out its own identity is exactly the kind of "Leafs Hockey" we've come to expect, but a win is a win. I’m sure this result means the Cup is basically a lock and we definitely won't collapse in April. Don’t hurt me again.