@ Columbus

Just another masterclass in defensive indifference as the Blue Jackets treated the Toronto zone like a wide-open practice rink. Cole Sillinger and Zach Werenski jumped out to a lead so quickly it was almost impressive, and while Sammy Blais tried to spark a pulse in the second, the effort was about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. By the time Ivan Provorov and Dante Fabbro were finished pad-stacking the score, the deficit had reached a level of embarrassment that felt comfortably familiar to anyone who has worn a blue-and-white jersey for more than five minutes.

Naturally, the Leafs decided to flex their offensive muscles only after Mathieu Olivier had already made it a 6-1 blowout. John Tavares and Nicholas Robertson chipped in some late goals to dress up the final score, ensuring the shot clock favored Toronto 36-24 in the most meaningless way possible. It is the ultimate Toronto experience: dominate the paper stats, lose the actual game by three goals to a team that barely had to break a sweat, and provide just enough of a garbage-time surge to trick the gullible into thinking there was a chance. It’s nice to know that no matter how much the roster changes, the soul of this team remains committed to making every Columbus road trip look like a playoff Game 7.